Marcie, a dedicated social worker, has navigated a remarkable journey from a turbulent childhood to creating a loving, mixed-ethnicity family. Despite growing up in a poverty-stricken home with a functioning alcoholic mother and experiencing the trauma of being removed from her mother’s care at age 14, Marcie has risen above her past. She has adopted three children out of foster care, adding to her complex yet nurturing household. Marcie, who currently fosters one baby boy, emphasizes that fostering and adopting require the entire family’s commitment and passion. Her story is a testament to resilience and the power of love and support in overcoming adversity.
At around 14, Marcie was removed from her mother’s care due to an assault by her stepfather, landing her in group care. The environment was far from comfortable, offering little support. She couldn’t even properly ask for school supplies, a recurring challenge in her childhood. This early experience in foster care was anything but positive. By 16, Marcie faced another tough challenge: she found herself pregnant. Her journey through the system was fraught with difficulties and far from a fairytale ending.
- Marcella
While still in high school, Marcie found herself juggling motherhood, taking her baby on the bus back and forth. Her situation improved markedly after a remarkable interaction with a school-associated social worker. This individual took Marcie under her wing, implementing special programs like cooking classes that provided daily food, and initiatives to collect essentials like diapers and formula. Marcie was even afforded the opportunity to take naps at school. Despite the challenges, she managed to graduate and secure a college scholarship. Yet, Marcie’s story was far from a fairytale ending, with more hurdles lying ahead.
In her early twenties, Marcie faced a battle with addictions. Reflecting on her past, she recognizes numerous moments where her life could have taken a darker turn. She realized the profound impact a supportive voice can have, shaping her approach to fostering today. Marcie is committed not only to providing care for foster children but also to being a guiding voice, helping them navigate life’s challenges and steer back on track amidst the many forks in the road.
When discussing how she navigates a child’s cultural background, Marcie emphasizes the importance of building that connection, acknowledging it as a never-ending journey. “You have to understand that it’s a continuous learning process,” she says. She advises foster parents not to worry excessively about making mistakes, noting that the children and the community will provide guidance. “It’s okay to admit that you don’t know everything,” Marcie reassures. “Being open and willing to learn makes all the difference.”
Marcie recalls a particularly impactful experience to illustrate her point. She attended a cultural feast wearing a skirt that only reached her knees, unaware that it should have extended to the floor. An elder noticed and gently laid a blanket over her knees. “It was a small, but profound correction,” Marcie recounts. “The elder didn’t scold me; she simply showed me what was appropriate in a very respectful way.”
- Marcella
This moment left a lasting impression on Marcie. “It taught me that cultural integration is about respect and positive intent,” she shares. Her key message to other foster parents: approach cultural integration gently and don’t be too hard on yourself. “You’ll make mistakes, and that’s okay. What’s important is that you’re making an effort and you’re open to learning.”
Marcie also highlights the complexities of living in two worlds. “It’s not easy to walk in two worlds,” she acknowledges. “There are times when you’ll feel torn between different cultural expectations.” She stresses the importance of being kind to oneself during this process. “Give yourself grace,” she advises.
She believes that fostering is about more than providing shelter—it’s about creating a safe, caring, and nurturing place where a child can thrive. “If you don’t shed some tears along the way, then you didn’t do it right,” she says. For Marcie, part of the job is walking into the unknown and looking for those opportunities to be part of a really big change. “This world is about being supportive and compassionate because we all go through times when we might need help,” she reflects.
Ultimately, Marcie underscores that the best interest of the child is paramount. “Our goal is to make sure the best interests of the child are always front and center,” she stresses. “If the child can go home, then that’s what we work towards. It’s about making sure that home is a safe, loving environment for them.”
Through her experiences and heartfelt advice, Marcie provides a roadmap for other foster parents striving to navigate the complexities of fostering with cultural sensitivity and compassion. Her journey serves as a beacon, illuminating the path of continuous learning, respect, and kindness—both to the children under her care and to herself.
- Marcella
Marcie embodies the spirit of LoveStrong. Much like her, many foster parents have overcome tough challenges, earning the title “Wounded Healers.” Marcie believes that if you’ve navigated through difficult times and emerged stronger, you might be ready for the foster care journey. Compassion and empathy are crucial on this path. For Marcie, helping others succeed is deeply ingrained, providing her with profound satisfaction. Her experience underscores the intrinsic rewards of nurturing and guiding others through life’s challenges.
